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The White Rose Emporium
Joke Page
Standard Disclaimer: I will not be held responsible for anyone else's sense of humor (or lack thereof!) I have saved these little nuggets up over the years because I found them amusing. They (as far as I can tell) were not intended to be offensive in any way. Some are mere puns (and barely punny!), and some are a bit more. Hopefully they'll at least prove giggle-worthy!
How can you make a Witch itch?
You take away his/her W!!!!
What do you call 13 witches in a Jacuzzi?
A self cleaning coven!
What do you call a Witch that lives VERY close
to the Pacific Ocean?....
A Sand-Witch<groan><G>
Visualize a table, upon which is a globe with peas on it, and a wheel of Gouda cheese....there are 2 men standing by the table...the caption to all of this reads:
Peas on Earth, Gouda wheel, 2 men!!
You hear about the one where the husband says:
"My wife has the body of a goddess"
and the Wife says: "Yeah--the Venus of Willendorf!"
How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on what you want to change it into!
How many Alexandrians does it take to change a lightbulb?
#1) The HPs, the HP and 11 off the street.
#2) How do the Gardnerians do it, again?
How many Gardnerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
#1) That's a Third Degree secret!
How many Dianic, Feminist, Separatists does it
take to change a lightbulb?
#1) That's not funny!
Or if you want to get a little riskier:
How many witches does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Witches don't screw in a lightbulb, they screw
in the woods!
A man picked up a witch at a bar. After a few
drinks, they went to her place. One thing led to another and soon,
she took off her blouse. The man was disappointed that she was
flat-chested, so she turned to the ornately carved mirror on the door
and said, "Mirror, Mirror on the door, make these babies
44s!!" Her breasts began to get larger and larger.
The man dropped his pants, and the witch began
to laugh, and said, "You ain't no great shakes yourself, fella.
Maybe you ought to use the mirror."
The man lowered the mirror on the door so that
he could see his MANHOOD, and said, "Mirror, mirror on the door,
make this sucker reach the floor!" His legs began to get shorter
and shorter.
Three friends- a Christian, Buddhist, and
Pagan went fishing in a boat. Talking religious things, the one kept
pushing his beliefs on the other two...finally the Buddhist says
'Hey, all this talking has made me thirsty and I'm going over to the
car and get a beer.' Gets out, walks across the water to the car,
gets his beer can comes back and sits down with his fishing pole.
Pagan ignores him but the other guy just stares! After a few minutes,
the Pagan, says 'Your drinking has made me thirsty, too. I'm going to
go get ME a beer.' Gets out, walks across the water, gets his beer
and comes back and sits down. And the Christian is just STARING with
his mouth hanging open while the friends clink cans and drink their
beers and talk of fish, etc. After several minutes, he jumps up and
'yells, if YOU two can do it, I CAN!' And jumps out of the boat and
promptly sinks, spitting and sputtering! And floundering to shore...
The Buddhist turns to his Pagan friend and
innocently asks: 'Gee, do you supose we should have told him we used
those tree stumps to walk on?'
